Parents all to often get frustrated with a child acting out and discipline can quickly turn from an effective means of altering behavior into a power struggle. When this occurs, the punishment meted out can often exceed the offence.
Keeping discipline in perspective starts with the parent’s attitude and understanding of a child’s behavior. Children have different issues at different ages and parents need to be aware of this. It is also important to remember that a child is not personally attacking you, but really is struggling to express what he or she is feeling. Keeping calm and detaching the behavior from the child can help to keep things in the right perspective.
When you discipline, make sure that the consequence you impose is consistent and matches the level of what the child did wrong. You also need to explain why you are laying out a particular consequence and discuss with the child what he or should could have done differently. This is supposed to be a learning experience, and your guidance at this point can make a difference in your child’s future behavior choices.
Consistency is also important. If you change tactics or blow up, the child will be confused by the inconsistency and will have unclear boundaries for behavior. Your calm, consistent and carefully considered consequences can help to effectively guide your child on how to make better choices. They will also follow your example of staying calm and thinking through things instead of acting rashly when upset.
